The holidays are a truly delightful season. There’s nothing better than spending time with your family and those you care about. And the feeling of our hearts filling with warmth and joy will never get old!
Our Top Five Favorites Christmas Jokes For Kids
- What falls but never gets hurt? Snow
- Why do mummies like Christmas so much? Because of all the wrapping
- Who is Santa’s favorite singer? Elf-is Presley
- What does the gingerbread man put on his bed? Cookie sheets
- What kind of music do elves like? “Wrap” music
Looking to spread some festive Christmas spirit? Here are the most hilarious Christmas jokes for kids that are perfect for the whole family!
See Related: How To Celebrate The Holidays At Work This Season
Funny Christmas Jokes For The Whole Family
You don’t have to be a comedian to tell these jokes. In fact, if you’re looking for Christmas jokes for kids, an easy place to start is Santa. The little ones of our family love Saint Nick more than anything else during Christmas!
After all, who wouldn’t love someone who gave them their favorite gifts every year?
We don’t mean to poke fun at ol’ Saint Nick, but we can’t help it. Here are our favorite funny Christmas jokes centered around Santa Claus!
#6. What do you call Santa when he stops moving? Santa Pause
#7. Why does Santa have 3 gardens? So he can hoe-hoe-hoe
#8. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing, it was on the house!
#9. What does Santa do when the reindeer drive too fast? Hold on for “deer” life
#10. Which one of Santa’s reindeer has the best moves? Dancer
#11. What’s red, white, and green? Santa Claus when he’s travel sick!
#12. Why doesn’t Santa eat junk food? Because it’s bad for your elf
#13. What is Santa’s dog’s name? Santa Paws
#14. What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus
#15. Why doesn’t Santa go to the hospital? He has private “elf care”
#16. How did Santa respond when Mrs. Claus told him he had forgotten something from the store? “But I checked the shopping list twice!”
#17. Which of Santa’s reindeer can you see going to race? Dasher
#18. What kind of motorcycle does Santa like to ride? Holly Davidson
#19. Why does Santa work at the North Pole? Because the penguins kicked him out of the South Pole!
#20. What does Santa suffer from whenever he gets stuck in a chimney? Santa Claustrophobia
#21. What does Mrs. Claus say to Santa when there are clouds in the sky? It looks like rain, deer!
#22. What do you get when Santa plays detective? Santa clues
#23. What’s Santa’s favorite candy? Jolly Ranchers
#24. What do you call a bankrupt Santa? Saint Nickel-less
#25. What happens when you combine Santa with a duck? A Christmas Quacker
#26. What’s another name for Santa’s Little Helpers? Subordinate clauses
Jokes For Kids About Christmas Trees
There are a few things that make certain seasons iconic. Take, for example, how the leaves change color in autumn. This seemingly simplistic natural phenomenon is ingrained in our minds as a symbol of the autumn season.
So for the winter holidays, things like freshly fallen snow, colorful string lights, and lush Christmas trees all stand out as being iconically seasonal.
It should go without saying that there are some funny Christmas jokes out there about these things. After all, jokes can be made about anything!
So, here are our favorite Christmas jokes about Christmas trees!
#27. Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? It needs a little trim
#28. Why are Christmas trees bad at sewing? Because they always drop their needles
#29. How can you tell if a Christmas Tree is a girl? Because it is wearing a tree skirt
#30. What do you get when you cross a pig and Christmas tree lights? A piglet
#31. What did one Christmas tree say to another? Lighten up!
#32. How did the ornament get addicted to Christmas? He was hooked on trees his whole life
#33. What do you get when you cross an iPhone with a Christmas tree? A pine-apple
#34. What’s a Christmas tree’s favorite candy? Orna-mints
#35. Why wouldn’t the Christmas tree stand up? It had no legs
Christmas Jokes About A Reindeer
We all know that kids like things that ignite their creativity and show them the magical side of this world. That’s why flying reindeer are a sure hit during the holidays for some childlike entertainment!
#36. Where do reindeer go for coffee? Star-bucks
#37. Which reindeer always gets sent to the principal’s office? Rude-olf
#38. Why didn’t Rudolph get a good report card? Because he went down in history
#39. How do reindeer know when it’s Christmas? They look at a calen-deer
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And Even More Holiday Jokes For Kids
Kids can sometimes be hard to please. And when they think your jokes aren’t laughing material, even the strongest of us can feel slightly hurt. Or, that could just be us.
Regardless, finding the best jokes to get the little ones laughing can be a tall order. So here are even more of the best Christmas jokes to help you steal the show!
#40. What did one snowman say to the other? Do you smell carrots?
#41. Who delivers Christmas presents to sharks? Santa Jaws
#42. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Donut. Donut who? Donut open ’til Christmas!
#43. What did one snowman say to another snowman? You’re cool
#44. What kind of ball doesn’t bounce? A snowball
#45. How do chickens dance at a holiday party? Chick to chick
#46. What kind of car do elves drive in the off-season? A minivan
#47. What do snowmen take when the sun gets too hot? A chill pill
#48. What is an elf’s favorite sport? North-pole vaulting
#49. What is a cow’s favorite holiday? Moo-years Day
#50. Why did Santa get a ticket on Christmas Eve? He left his sleigh in a snow parking zone
#51. What do you get if you mix a vampire with a snowperson? Frostbite
#52. Knock-Knock! Who’s there? Mary and Abby. Mary and Abby who? Mary Christmas and Abby New Year!
#53. What happens if you eat Christmas decorations? “You get tinselitus”
#54. What do you call a snowman in July? A puddle
#55. Why is a foot the best Christmas present? Because it makes a good stocking filler
#56. What do monkeys sing at Christmas? Jungle bells
#57. What do you call a greedy elf? Elfish
#58. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? The abdominal snowman
#59. What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes (Frosted Flakes)
#60. What goes “oh oh oh”? Santa walking backwards
#61. What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has Noel
How To Wish “Happy Holidays” In A Joke!
An easy way to show appreciation and affection during the holidays is to wish those you care about the best season. So how can you do that as a joke? Easy.
#62. How does a sheep say Merry Christmas? “Fleece Navidad”
#63. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Irish. Irish who? Irish you a Merry Christmas!
#64. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Interrupting Santa. Inter— Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!
#65. How do sheep wish each other happy holidays? Merry Christmas to ewe!
Delivering Funny Christmas Jokes Is A Superpower!
The holiday season is a precious time of year. These special days allow us to connect with our family and friends like never before.
And what better way to connect is there than with some classic and hilarious Christmas jokes?
Laughter is a pretty powerful tool. Here at Clean Comedians®, we know that better than most.
There’s a reason why people say, “laughter is the best medicine.” Indulging in a smile and enjoying genuine laughter can improve our overall well-being, boost our mood, and ignite new friendships.
Especially during the holidays, we deserve some wholesome happiness. And the funniest jokes are inclusive and heartwarming. That’s why at Clean Comedians®, our speakers are completely free of profanity, prejudge, and inappropriate humor. There’s no place for that in the professional world.
Whether you need a virtual keynote speaker or a comedic company event host, we’ve got everything. And we also do extensive research on your company beforehand, so our content is 100% tailored to your unique team.
We believe hilarious humor is the best way to connect with those around you. Sharing a genuine laugh with someone is the best way to spark new friendships and promote healthy bonds.
We’re a fan of pretty much all kinds of jokes. And Christmas jokes are the cream of the crop!
From all of us here at Clean Comedians®, we wish you and your family a very happy holiday season!
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Adam Christing is a professional comedy magician, virtual MC, and the founder of CleanComedians.com. He is a member of the world-famous Magic Castle in Hollywood and a popular corporate entertainer, magician, and virtual speaker.