Do you remember the jokes your dad told you as a kid? They have a particular way of sticking with you, don’t they?
Well, we’re here to praise the dad joke once more. Because let’s be honest – these jokes never go out of style!
Plus, these jokes for kids will make you the most popular grown-up around. So, without further ado, let’s dive into these top dad jokes that will impress your kids and land you a spot in the Dad Joke Hall of Fame.
See Related: 9 Ways Comedy Jugglers Can Make Your Workplace Fun
Everyone loves a cheesy dad joke, right?
We have to start with a classic, don’t we? So if you already know what’s coming, go ahead – sing along!
#1. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
#2. A cheese factory exploded in France. Da brie is everywhere!
#3. What do you get when you cross a Smurf and a cow? Blue cheese.
#4. How do you get a mouse to smile? Say “cheese.”
Anyone who says they don’t like dad humor is kidding themselves
#5. A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”
#6. What did the cheddar cheese say to its dad? This may sound cheesy, but I think you’re really grate dad!
#7. What did one cheese say to cheer the other cheese up? “You’re a gouda friend, it’s gonna brie okay.”
#8. Why did the cheese refuse to be cut? He had grater plans for his life.
#9. Which cheese is the smartest? Cheese Whiz.
A dad joke that’s absolutely corny
These jokes for kids aren’t just about making you their immediate favorite. They also have some legitimate developmental benefits to offer too.
Research suggests that the elasticity of language in a dad joke can boost confidence in kids, particularly when developing their language and social skills.
How’s that for a parenting trick? Turns out hiring a comedian is also great for kids too!
#10. What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn? “Where’s Pop Corn?”
#11. Do you want to know how to stay warm in any room? Go to the corner – it’s always 90 degrees!
#12. Another word of caution. Never tell secrets near a cornfield. They’re all ears.
#13. What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner.
#14. I’m afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.
Did you say cringe? More like “let’s binge on these jokes!”
#15. Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing? In case they get a hole in one!
#16. How do you follow Will Smith in the snow? You follow the fresh prints.
#17. Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.
#18. Have you heard about the chocolate record player? It sounds pretty sweet.
#19. What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
#20. How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.
#21. I don’t trust those trees. They seem kind of shady.
Animal jokes for kids
The animal kingdom is chock full of jokes just waiting to be made about them. So why not get ahead of the curve with these animal jokes for kids?
#22. What did the mama cow say to the baby cow? “It’s pasture bedtime.”
#23. What did the buffalo say to his son as he left for school? Bison!
#24. What did the baby otter say about his dad? You are a Dad like no otter.
#25. What animal is always at a baseball game? A bat.
#26. Why couldn’t the pony sing a lullaby? She was a little horse.
Even the animal kingdom likes to poke fun at itself
#27. How do you make an octopus laugh? With ten-tickles.
#28. Why did the fish blush? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.
#29. Do you know what to call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
#30. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted!
#31. How do you count cows? With a cowculator.
#32. What did the duck say when he bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
#33. You know what’s smarter than a talking bird? A spelling bee.
It’s not a bad joke, it’s a dad joke!
Haters gonna hate. But in the meantime, we’re gonna be cracking up over here in the corner!
#34. What do you call a man who tells dad jokes but isn’t actually a dad? A faux pa.
#35. Mom asked me to put ketchup on the grocery list. Now I can’t see anything.
#36. I’m reading an anti-gravity book and I just can’t put it down!
#37. I used to be able to play piano by ear but now I have to use my hands.
Sorry, we think you misheard us. These jokes aren’t bad – they’re great!
#38. I was wondering why the baseball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then it hit me.
#39. Mom says I have no sense of direction. So I packed my bags and right.
#40. I finally watched that documentary on clocks. It was about time.
Best one-liners to rely on
#41. I never thought I’d be the type to have a beard. But then it just grew on me.
#42. Singing in the show is all good and fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.
#43. I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg.
#44. Mom said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
#45. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
A surefire winner in a single shot
#46. Mom is mad at me because she asked me to sync her phone, so I threw it in the ocean.
#47. I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I’ll let you know what comes first.
#48. My kid gave me a “World’s Best Dad” mug. At least she inherited my sense of humor.
#49. How do you measure the mass of an influencer’s following? By Instagrams!
#50. I wish my kids weren’t offended by my Frozen kids. They really need to let it go!
#51. Why did the orange lose the race? It ran out of juice.
Funny birthday jokes
It’s always somebody’s birthday around the office, isn’t it? So why not give the gift of these one-liners?
#52. What do you say to a rabbit on its birthday? Hoppy Birthday!
#53. Why do candles always go on the top of cakes? Because it’s hard to light them from the bottom.
#54. Why did the girl put her cake in the freezer? She wanted to ice it.
#55. Why did the little girl hit her birthday cake with a hammer? It was a pound cake.
#56. What did the tiger say to her cub on his birthday? It’s roar birthday!
#57. My kid is blaming me for ruining their birthday. That’s ridiculous – I didn’t even know it was today!
#58. I put balloons in the bathroom because I wanted to throw you a birthday potty.
#59. What does every birthday end with? The letter Y.
#60. What’s the one thing you will get every year on your birthday, guaranteed? A year older.
As you can see, there are plenty of jokes here to entertain your kids for hours. And let’s face it – when they’re not enjoying screen time, it really is your time to shine.
So use these jokes as your next best weapon. And if you really need some help winning your kids over, consider hiring our magician speakers as yet another line of defense!
Adam Christing is a professional comedy magician, virtual MC, and the founder of CleanComedians.com. He is a member of the world-famous Magic Castle in Hollywood and a popular corporate entertainer, magician, and virtual speaker.